She slept soundly next to me and I knew that her sleep was far easier than the questions that would occur upon her waking. I stared blankly out the window, watching the passing hills that had come to define my broken heart. I was leaving again and I wanted to scream. I wanted to say..
Fuck Leaving
Fuck Goodbyes
Anger is easier than sadness. She moved next to me, shifting to an unknown dream. I couldn't begin to explain what her presence meant to me. It had been a last minute revelation, that she would be travelling with me to the airport. I had been moved beyond words, never knowing this intimacy before. I had known love before with my family, strangers thrown together and commanded to love another. I had had lovers before, strangers who sleep together and therefore are commanded to love one another. This love was different. There was no give and take, just a state of being. A presence that did not require words. With no requests, all I could do was give.
Fuck Leaving
The train came to a slow stop and I softly bumped her shoulder. She awoke and I motioned with my eyes that it was time to go. It was I who led the way to the airport, having been through this station too many times. I had resolved to remain strong, the silence of our friendship helped. After we had found my flight and checked in my bags we went to eat breakfast. She had chosen a Burger King breakfast meal while I had bought a muffin and an extra water for her. She smiled gratefully and we settled back into our silence. It was these exchanges that others didn't understand. We would exchange small favors for each other without a word about paybacks or who had spent more on whom.............to be continued