Please, Not Again
Another letter and your ghost settles in
Props up a chair, Oh please not again
four summers, three springs, one fall
I thought we had said it all
Insult to injury just for you to say
I never wanted it this way
Actions are cheap, words full of gold
How ever did we get so old?
Accents change but it means the same
You've got a new look on an old frame
Another letter and your ghost settles in
Props up a chair, Oh God, not again
All the suddent I just can't take
The consequences I didn't make
Showing posts with label The Y Chromosome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Y Chromosome. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 18
Thursday, November 8
Thursday, September 27
Light Years Away
It's almost like you had it planned.
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said,
"hey, I'm about to screw you over big time"
What was I supposed to do?
I was stuck inbetween you and a hard place
We won't talk about the hard place
I don't blame you anymore
that's too much pain to store
it left me half dead inside my head
and, boy, looking back I see that i'm not the girl I used to be
when I lost my mind
It saved my life
It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
I lost a friend in the end
I think I cried for days
Now that seems light years away
I'm never going back to who I was
I don't blame you anymore
that's too much pain to store
It left me half-dead inside my head
Boy, looking back I see: I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
You saved my life
I think I cried for days
Now that seems light years away
I'm never going back to who I was
That life seems light years away...
Mozella
It's almost like you had it planned.
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said,
"hey, I'm about to screw you over big time"
What was I supposed to do?
I was stuck inbetween you and a hard place
We won't talk about the hard place
I don't blame you anymore
that's too much pain to store
it left me half dead inside my head
and, boy, looking back I see that i'm not the girl I used to be
when I lost my mind
It saved my life
It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
I lost a friend in the end
I think I cried for days
Now that seems light years away
I'm never going back to who I was
I don't blame you anymore
that's too much pain to store
It left me half-dead inside my head
Boy, looking back I see: I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
You saved my life
I think I cried for days
Now that seems light years away
I'm never going back to who I was
That life seems light years away...
Mozella
Monday, August 27
Self- Defense
When I was living in Lancaster, I dated a young British man named Richard (yeah I’m going to talk about an ex). After a couple of weeks he decided that he didn’t want to date me anymore. I listened to him calmly as we sat together on my dorm room bed. I cannot remember his argument exactly but it centered somewhere around the fact that I was leaving to go back home in a couple of months. After he had stated his case, I told him that I thought he was right and that we should break-up. He sat there confused. He had expected a protest, I assume, and my acquiescence had startled him into thinking that I didn’t really want to date him at all. You see- as I calmly stated to him- that was not the case. I believe that if there is a point where you think that you should break up with, or no longer date, a person and if you believe in this reason strongly enough to tell them about it, then you should, most definitely, end the relationship. Because, if there can be a doubt in your mind strong enough to start the dialogue of a breakup then it will assuredly lead to one whether immediately or many years down the road. My statements had the strange effect of changing his mind and making him realize that he didn’t want to break up with me at all.
Three weeks later we broke up.
The point is this- sometimes we don’t take our own advice. There have been many times when I have decided that I shouldn’t be dating someone for a particular reason but I continue because they (or me) talked me back into it.
Reasons don’t just go away.
They also don’t just appear and acting like they did is only lying to yourself.
*As I slept on my brother’s couch Saturday night, I thought of this story. Birthdays usually don’t have a mental effect, but, somehow, at 22 I can say, ‘things are changing’.
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before, it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
Lately, I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes…
It's driven me before, it seems to be the way that everyone else get around
Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found
When I was living in Lancaster, I dated a young British man named Richard (yeah I’m going to talk about an ex). After a couple of weeks he decided that he didn’t want to date me anymore. I listened to him calmly as we sat together on my dorm room bed. I cannot remember his argument exactly but it centered somewhere around the fact that I was leaving to go back home in a couple of months. After he had stated his case, I told him that I thought he was right and that we should break-up. He sat there confused. He had expected a protest, I assume, and my acquiescence had startled him into thinking that I didn’t really want to date him at all. You see- as I calmly stated to him- that was not the case. I believe that if there is a point where you think that you should break up with, or no longer date, a person and if you believe in this reason strongly enough to tell them about it, then you should, most definitely, end the relationship. Because, if there can be a doubt in your mind strong enough to start the dialogue of a breakup then it will assuredly lead to one whether immediately or many years down the road. My statements had the strange effect of changing his mind and making him realize that he didn’t want to break up with me at all.
Three weeks later we broke up.
The point is this- sometimes we don’t take our own advice. There have been many times when I have decided that I shouldn’t be dating someone for a particular reason but I continue because they (or me) talked me back into it.
Reasons don’t just go away.
They also don’t just appear and acting like they did is only lying to yourself.
*As I slept on my brother’s couch Saturday night, I thought of this story. Birthdays usually don’t have a mental effect, but, somehow, at 22 I can say, ‘things are changing’.
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before, it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
Lately, I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes…
It's driven me before, it seems to be the way that everyone else get around
Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found
Thursday, August 23
You are My Favorite
Inspired by:
Padraig’s My Girl-
On those days that I admit to myself that I want a guy, I began to wonder what shape that fabled man might take. What color would his perfectly tinted eyes be? What shade of hair would I find between my fingers? What would we talk about as we laid on the couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon? I would want him to be a writer, or at least some type of artist, because, as my father once told me, only one artist can understand another. I’m mostly over the physical characteristics, though a dark brunette can still make me stop and stare. He would be successful, or at least driven, because there is still that part of me that can’t stand mediocrity. We would have a weekly date of wine and conversation. I would catch him watching me as I made cookies, with a tender look in his eyes and I would know that he loved me more than he could have ever imagined. He would let me put my feet on his while I am sleeping because they get cold at night. He would understand that sometimes I have to run away to know what I am coming back to; that there is a part of me that is restless and it has nothing to do with him at all. I would call him by a nickname that his mother had used for him as a child and he wouldn’t mind at all. If I told him that I loved him more he would respond “I know” and I would act hurt so that he would kiss me on the forehead. We would drive out to the country so we could sit on the hood of his car and listen to the lyrics of songs while we counted the stars. If we got lost, we would remember all the details and relate them in funny voices to friends who weren’t there. And every night, before we fell asleep, we would push the hair back from my eyes and say, “you are my favorite.”
Inspired by:
Padraig’s My Girl-
On those days that I admit to myself that I want a guy, I began to wonder what shape that fabled man might take. What color would his perfectly tinted eyes be? What shade of hair would I find between my fingers? What would we talk about as we laid on the couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon? I would want him to be a writer, or at least some type of artist, because, as my father once told me, only one artist can understand another. I’m mostly over the physical characteristics, though a dark brunette can still make me stop and stare. He would be successful, or at least driven, because there is still that part of me that can’t stand mediocrity. We would have a weekly date of wine and conversation. I would catch him watching me as I made cookies, with a tender look in his eyes and I would know that he loved me more than he could have ever imagined. He would let me put my feet on his while I am sleeping because they get cold at night. He would understand that sometimes I have to run away to know what I am coming back to; that there is a part of me that is restless and it has nothing to do with him at all. I would call him by a nickname that his mother had used for him as a child and he wouldn’t mind at all. If I told him that I loved him more he would respond “I know” and I would act hurt so that he would kiss me on the forehead. We would drive out to the country so we could sit on the hood of his car and listen to the lyrics of songs while we counted the stars. If we got lost, we would remember all the details and relate them in funny voices to friends who weren’t there. And every night, before we fell asleep, we would push the hair back from my eyes and say, “you are my favorite.”
Wednesday, August 1
Monday, July 30
Damn Lucky
Here’s the problem. I’ve got to be blown away. I mean, AMAZED. Then again, I have to be adored. The two don’t seem to mix. I mean, if I am truly amazed by a guy then what is the likelihood he will feel the same way about me? Whereas, if I am not amazed by the guy but he is amazed by me we will continue to play a charade where I keep going on date after date hoping that at some point I am amazed by him all the while knowing that even if I were to get into a relationship with this person I would not be happy because I would be constantly thinking about how they just do not blow me away.
Got it?
So maybe this is why I’ve been so utterly single for the past sixteen months unless you count the blip that was Kip, but I don’t (unless he does) -which I’m sure he doesn’t. So I am back to the beginning. I’ve got a bit of a problem and my friends are tired of hearing about it. One of my friends says I’m way too picky and I need to lower my standards and give someone a fucking chance.
“For Christsakes Clare, give him a fucking chance!”
And then my other friend, well she listens quite quietly and then responds “Well Clare you see it’s not really that big of a deal. It doesn’t really matter at all. Next week someone new will ask you out and you will replace this heartbreak with a new one. Don’t you see that you never have to be upset because there’s always a replacement? Well, at least for girls like you.”
You would think I didn’t have a heart. I can steal feel…whether it be for one or twenty.
(Whoa that sounds messed up)
Then my ex says “You’re damn lucky you’re pretty. You as annoying as hell and no one would put up with that sarcasm of yours if you weren’t so damn pretty.” And I think, shit he’s right. I am severely messed up and every day and date that goes by proves the point even further. I want to think it wasn’t always this way. Once, when asked how old I was the last time I was single, I responded…”I don’t know…12”. Yeah, it happened.
But through a dramatic course of events that involved one birthday, a chocolate pie, a Myspace page, and an extremely pissed-off Clare, I decided to take a break. I hung up my dancing shoes. I didn’t go on a single date for three months. Then there was New Years, some garbage-can punch, and one serious conversation in the bathroom. Again, I was left smarting.
Well, I made that birthday call again this year but left out the chocolate pie. As I sat down the phone, I looked at my best-friend (the one with the boyfriend) and we both said “What a difference a year makes”.
The point is that, I am still single and I’m OK. I’m moving to France in two months for a year abroad until I start law school. Honestly, I’m in love with my life right now. Do I wish there was someone to share it with? Sometimes, but more often than not, I am content.
At the end of the day, I’m still friends with all my exes (minus one), my friends ask for my advice on their relationships (so I must not be too messed-up), and my guy friends do wonderful things like tell me I’m the epitome of amazingness (I heart Pat).
You know, being the single friend isn’t so bad after all.
Here’s the problem. I’ve got to be blown away. I mean, AMAZED. Then again, I have to be adored. The two don’t seem to mix. I mean, if I am truly amazed by a guy then what is the likelihood he will feel the same way about me? Whereas, if I am not amazed by the guy but he is amazed by me we will continue to play a charade where I keep going on date after date hoping that at some point I am amazed by him all the while knowing that even if I were to get into a relationship with this person I would not be happy because I would be constantly thinking about how they just do not blow me away.
Got it?
So maybe this is why I’ve been so utterly single for the past sixteen months unless you count the blip that was Kip, but I don’t (unless he does) -which I’m sure he doesn’t. So I am back to the beginning. I’ve got a bit of a problem and my friends are tired of hearing about it. One of my friends says I’m way too picky and I need to lower my standards and give someone a fucking chance.
“For Christsakes Clare, give him a fucking chance!”
And then my other friend, well she listens quite quietly and then responds “Well Clare you see it’s not really that big of a deal. It doesn’t really matter at all. Next week someone new will ask you out and you will replace this heartbreak with a new one. Don’t you see that you never have to be upset because there’s always a replacement? Well, at least for girls like you.”
You would think I didn’t have a heart. I can steal feel…whether it be for one or twenty.
(Whoa that sounds messed up)
Then my ex says “You’re damn lucky you’re pretty. You as annoying as hell and no one would put up with that sarcasm of yours if you weren’t so damn pretty.” And I think, shit he’s right. I am severely messed up and every day and date that goes by proves the point even further. I want to think it wasn’t always this way. Once, when asked how old I was the last time I was single, I responded…”I don’t know…12”. Yeah, it happened.
But through a dramatic course of events that involved one birthday, a chocolate pie, a Myspace page, and an extremely pissed-off Clare, I decided to take a break. I hung up my dancing shoes. I didn’t go on a single date for three months. Then there was New Years, some garbage-can punch, and one serious conversation in the bathroom. Again, I was left smarting.
Well, I made that birthday call again this year but left out the chocolate pie. As I sat down the phone, I looked at my best-friend (the one with the boyfriend) and we both said “What a difference a year makes”.
The point is that, I am still single and I’m OK. I’m moving to France in two months for a year abroad until I start law school. Honestly, I’m in love with my life right now. Do I wish there was someone to share it with? Sometimes, but more often than not, I am content.
At the end of the day, I’m still friends with all my exes (minus one), my friends ask for my advice on their relationships (so I must not be too messed-up), and my guy friends do wonderful things like tell me I’m the epitome of amazingness (I heart Pat).
You know, being the single friend isn’t so bad after all.
Friday, July 20
This one is for the Ladies
Here something that’s been a long time coming. If it sounds like a rant, well, that’s because it is. If it sounds angry…hmm…it’s not. I’m not angry about myself. I have no one to be angry at. But I am angry for my friends and that’s who I am writing this note for: the lovely ladies.
Men, there’s a couple of things we need to get straight. First of all, men always complain about not understanding women. I concede this point. We are difficult creatures at times and many days don’t understand ourselves but let me be clear that difficult does not swing both ways. Guys are not hard to understand. Sorry guys, but your simple creatures. Now, does this make us any less frustrated with you? NO. Why? Because we do understand you. We know why you are annoying the hell out of us, we know it full well. We knew it was going to happen before it did and let me tell you- that is the most frustrating part of all.
Basically, there are three reasons why a guy does something. THREE. Nice and simple.
Selfishness- yeah I said it. You see, men, you don’t seem to have the ability to think beyond yourselves. You don’t realize that there are other people in the world, namely women, who are most likely pouring themselves out daily for you while you just walk along whistling Dixie and not giving a shit. Also, if a girl does do something for you, don’t reward her with “you’re the best girlfriend ever” and ‘you’re such a sweet girl”. We don’t like to be patronized. If you think we’re so sweet then return the favor instead of sitting back with the beer we brought you and thinking how in the world you wound up with someone as awesome as us.
Btw, yes she wants you to call. So just do it.
Stubbornness- Oh this is my personal favorite. The guy that says he never knows what you want and then when you tell them what you want they say they don’t want to be forced to do anything…. WHAT?!?!?! Here’s a clue: If a girl says she likes flowers, she WANTS flowers. If a girl says she wants to go to the movie, she WANTS to go to the movie. If a girl likes a particular chicken salad from a particular store, she WANTS you to pick up that particular chicken salad when you are there (and if she picks it up she doesn’t want you to eat it all- you know who I’m talking to). Which this last point supports my previous point about selfishness, its not that you guys are trying to be mean, you just don’t think about us.
Amendment: sometimes guys are mean but I think it usually can still be chalked up to a slow-witted, “I didn’t really think before I acted” attitude that most men have. But even if this is the case, ladies, please don’t take him back. You can fix a lot of things but you can’t fix stupid.
Two heads?!?! Here’s the old standby and maybe it is overused but I’ve met too many guys for which it is true. Just don’t. Don’t. And if you do, don’t think we can’t do the same thing. There are Samantha Jones’ out there and they do only want you for your sex. This is not most women. I have had friends ask me if it was ok for them to just want to sleep with a guy. I generally tell them yes, under the following conditions: That more is not expected (this is the part that most guys fail at, Just assume the girl wants more unless she tells you otherwise). And it’s what they truly want, if two people go into it knowing nothing is coming out then…well that’s their own business.
If there’s something I’m missing, then please comment back. But there is another point I would like to make.
Breasts
Say it
They aren’t that amazing
They sit on our chest and mostly impede the proper buttoning of our shirts.
And they are NOT….NOT…for you to stare at.
There are few things less annoying then when a girl is out on a date, looking cute for her BOYFRIEND and some dumbass waiter decides to stare at her boobs. They aren’t for you buddy and do you really not see the 6’4” guy next to us?
Don’t catch quick glances when we aren’t looking – we saw you do it anyways.
Don’t catch yourself drifting during an intense conversation- it makes you think you don’t care what we think about global politics.
And DON’T talk to them--- THEY DON’T TALK BACK.
There it is- my rant. Alas men, if all of this is to no avail and you decide to continue being a jackass just go do it somewhere where I don’t have to hear about it.
*Note: not all men are jackasses. I have some really great guy friends but I will stand by my old saying “You never know a guy until you date them”. A guy can be a perfectly wonderful creature into you place them a situation that requires forethought, commitment, and communication.
Here something that’s been a long time coming. If it sounds like a rant, well, that’s because it is. If it sounds angry…hmm…it’s not. I’m not angry about myself. I have no one to be angry at. But I am angry for my friends and that’s who I am writing this note for: the lovely ladies.
Men, there’s a couple of things we need to get straight. First of all, men always complain about not understanding women. I concede this point. We are difficult creatures at times and many days don’t understand ourselves but let me be clear that difficult does not swing both ways. Guys are not hard to understand. Sorry guys, but your simple creatures. Now, does this make us any less frustrated with you? NO. Why? Because we do understand you. We know why you are annoying the hell out of us, we know it full well. We knew it was going to happen before it did and let me tell you- that is the most frustrating part of all.
Basically, there are three reasons why a guy does something. THREE. Nice and simple.
Selfishness- yeah I said it. You see, men, you don’t seem to have the ability to think beyond yourselves. You don’t realize that there are other people in the world, namely women, who are most likely pouring themselves out daily for you while you just walk along whistling Dixie and not giving a shit. Also, if a girl does do something for you, don’t reward her with “you’re the best girlfriend ever” and ‘you’re such a sweet girl”. We don’t like to be patronized. If you think we’re so sweet then return the favor instead of sitting back with the beer we brought you and thinking how in the world you wound up with someone as awesome as us.
Btw, yes she wants you to call. So just do it.
Stubbornness- Oh this is my personal favorite. The guy that says he never knows what you want and then when you tell them what you want they say they don’t want to be forced to do anything…. WHAT?!?!?! Here’s a clue: If a girl says she likes flowers, she WANTS flowers. If a girl says she wants to go to the movie, she WANTS to go to the movie. If a girl likes a particular chicken salad from a particular store, she WANTS you to pick up that particular chicken salad when you are there (and if she picks it up she doesn’t want you to eat it all- you know who I’m talking to). Which this last point supports my previous point about selfishness, its not that you guys are trying to be mean, you just don’t think about us.
Amendment: sometimes guys are mean but I think it usually can still be chalked up to a slow-witted, “I didn’t really think before I acted” attitude that most men have. But even if this is the case, ladies, please don’t take him back. You can fix a lot of things but you can’t fix stupid.
Two heads?!?! Here’s the old standby and maybe it is overused but I’ve met too many guys for which it is true. Just don’t. Don’t. And if you do, don’t think we can’t do the same thing. There are Samantha Jones’ out there and they do only want you for your sex. This is not most women. I have had friends ask me if it was ok for them to just want to sleep with a guy. I generally tell them yes, under the following conditions: That more is not expected (this is the part that most guys fail at, Just assume the girl wants more unless she tells you otherwise). And it’s what they truly want, if two people go into it knowing nothing is coming out then…well that’s their own business.
If there’s something I’m missing, then please comment back. But there is another point I would like to make.
Breasts
Say it
They aren’t that amazing
They sit on our chest and mostly impede the proper buttoning of our shirts.
And they are NOT….NOT…for you to stare at.
There are few things less annoying then when a girl is out on a date, looking cute for her BOYFRIEND and some dumbass waiter decides to stare at her boobs. They aren’t for you buddy and do you really not see the 6’4” guy next to us?
Don’t catch quick glances when we aren’t looking – we saw you do it anyways.
Don’t catch yourself drifting during an intense conversation- it makes you think you don’t care what we think about global politics.
And DON’T talk to them--- THEY DON’T TALK BACK.
There it is- my rant. Alas men, if all of this is to no avail and you decide to continue being a jackass just go do it somewhere where I don’t have to hear about it.
*Note: not all men are jackasses. I have some really great guy friends but I will stand by my old saying “You never know a guy until you date them”. A guy can be a perfectly wonderful creature into you place them a situation that requires forethought, commitment, and communication.
Monday, July 16
Wednesday, May 2
Thursday, January 18
Find yourself a girl and settle down
live a simple life in a quiet town
steady as she goes, steady as she goes.
your friend have shown a kink in the single life
you've had too much to think now you need a wife
steady as she goes, steady as she goes
well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend that knows you well
but no matter what you do you always feel as though you've tripped and fell
so steady as she goes....
My friends tell me I'm the maneater and I'm starting to believe them. I've been on so many first dates the past couple of months I don't know what to do with myself. I always seem to get bored with guys and can't commit to anyone. So here I am, waiting for another date tonight and I am wondering if I am finally going to be interested.
live a simple life in a quiet town
steady as she goes, steady as she goes.
your friend have shown a kink in the single life
you've had too much to think now you need a wife
steady as she goes, steady as she goes
well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend that knows you well
but no matter what you do you always feel as though you've tripped and fell
so steady as she goes....
My friends tell me I'm the maneater and I'm starting to believe them. I've been on so many first dates the past couple of months I don't know what to do with myself. I always seem to get bored with guys and can't commit to anyone. So here I am, waiting for another date tonight and I am wondering if I am finally going to be interested.
Sunday, December 3
Forgetting to Remember
"Tonight we drink to youth and holding fast the truth. I don't want to lose what I had as a boy. My heart still has a beat but love is now a feat as common as a cold day in L.A. Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder, is there a spell that I am under? Keeping me from seeing the real thing. Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings when it transcends the bad things. Have a heart and try me, 'cause without love I won't survive."
So I've started dating again and met some really nice guys. I'm enjoying the process after my break from dating. It's amazing the things I've learned about myself. And since no one reads this anyways, I'm going to share some.
1. I've learned my girlfriends are my best-friends. Nothing beats a girlfriend, someone to party with, to laugh with, and to cry with. I've never been so close to this many females in my life and I love it. They get me and they make a great sounding board for all of my crazy guy stories.
2. I love concerts, especially when you can get a beer, sit back, and enjoy the show.
3. The best memories are events that weren't planned. This is where having a boyfriend is boring. Maybe it's the guys I've been picking but I have never had as much fun as these past couple of months. Except for Anthony, who I will count as a friend forever.
4. I love waking up alone and setting my own agenda for the day.
5. Law and Order is overrated...sorry mike. If given the choice, I'd watch The Daily Show, Without a Trace, or South Park...but truth be told I never watch t.v....too busy hanging out with my awesome girlfriends.
6. I want to live in Paris, study Law in New York, study life in Asia, and travel somewhere different every month for my job. I want to be a world citizen that loves theatre and knows her Italian wines.
7. My perfect guy is older, smarter, and more ambitious than me.
8. I think religion is true but has been polluted by the masses.
9. I have nothing leftover. I am thankful for Josh, disappointed with Michael, puzzled by Richard, wiser because of Marcos, and honest for Anthony. As the song says, "there is only me."
"Tonight we drink to youth and holding fast the truth. I don't want to lose what I had as a boy. My heart still has a beat but love is now a feat as common as a cold day in L.A. Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder, is there a spell that I am under? Keeping me from seeing the real thing. Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings when it transcends the bad things. Have a heart and try me, 'cause without love I won't survive."
So I've started dating again and met some really nice guys. I'm enjoying the process after my break from dating. It's amazing the things I've learned about myself. And since no one reads this anyways, I'm going to share some.
1. I've learned my girlfriends are my best-friends. Nothing beats a girlfriend, someone to party with, to laugh with, and to cry with. I've never been so close to this many females in my life and I love it. They get me and they make a great sounding board for all of my crazy guy stories.
2. I love concerts, especially when you can get a beer, sit back, and enjoy the show.
3. The best memories are events that weren't planned. This is where having a boyfriend is boring. Maybe it's the guys I've been picking but I have never had as much fun as these past couple of months. Except for Anthony, who I will count as a friend forever.
4. I love waking up alone and setting my own agenda for the day.
5. Law and Order is overrated...sorry mike. If given the choice, I'd watch The Daily Show, Without a Trace, or South Park...but truth be told I never watch t.v....too busy hanging out with my awesome girlfriends.
6. I want to live in Paris, study Law in New York, study life in Asia, and travel somewhere different every month for my job. I want to be a world citizen that loves theatre and knows her Italian wines.
7. My perfect guy is older, smarter, and more ambitious than me.
8. I think religion is true but has been polluted by the masses.
9. I have nothing leftover. I am thankful for Josh, disappointed with Michael, puzzled by Richard, wiser because of Marcos, and honest for Anthony. As the song says, "there is only me."
Sunday, March 26
Mindless Muttering
Thoughts regress into the blank truth
Bold heartache giving way to mindless muttering
Missing a thought more than a person
Wanting a touch and not caring who it is from
These inclinations is what drives me
They drive me into arms I have no place to be
You don’t understand how someone can do
All the things that I do to you and neither can
I, dream of something that might be truth or peace
A faceless entity of love that could be you or someone else
I awake knowing you are a mixture of everything
I’ve made you to be, you are what I perceive you to be
We are looking for something outside of ourselves
To believe in and give our hearts to but then we find
That our belief is found inside and is made of us
Thoughts regress into the blank truth
Bold heartache giving way to mindless muttering
Missing a thought more than a person
Wanting a touch and not caring who it is from
These inclinations is what drives me
They drive me into arms I have no place to be
You don’t understand how someone can do
All the things that I do to you and neither can
I, dream of something that might be truth or peace
A faceless entity of love that could be you or someone else
I awake knowing you are a mixture of everything
I’ve made you to be, you are what I perceive you to be
We are looking for something outside of ourselves
To believe in and give our hearts to but then we find
That our belief is found inside and is made of us
Saturday, February 4
I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed
I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind
Am urged by your propinquity to find
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body's weight upon my breast:
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
Think not of this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn with pity, --let me make it plain:
I find this frenzy insufficient reason
for conversation when we meet again.
oh no she didn't! haha, I love this sonnet for so many reasons. Like I've said before our culture is saturated with the "love sonnet" and that is what makes me like this one so much. Here is a woman that understands herself and is also strong. The title mocks men's idea of women as weak and unreliable. Men fall for women, they take their love and then walk away. Here Edna St. Vincent Millay is saying that she will be the one walking away, "insufficient reason for conversation" is classic. I'm not in women's lib. or anything I just admire people who break out of the mold.
I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind
Am urged by your propinquity to find
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body's weight upon my breast:
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
Think not of this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn with pity, --let me make it plain:
I find this frenzy insufficient reason
for conversation when we meet again.
oh no she didn't! haha, I love this sonnet for so many reasons. Like I've said before our culture is saturated with the "love sonnet" and that is what makes me like this one so much. Here is a woman that understands herself and is also strong. The title mocks men's idea of women as weak and unreliable. Men fall for women, they take their love and then walk away. Here Edna St. Vincent Millay is saying that she will be the one walking away, "insufficient reason for conversation" is classic. I'm not in women's lib. or anything I just admire people who break out of the mold.
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