A Place for my mind to wander.

Tuesday, July 12

Oh instincts are misleading. You shouldn't think what you're feeling. They don't tell you what you know you should want.

That's a line from Lightness by Death Cab for Cutie. It reminds me of a line from a matchbox twenty song:

everybody's trusting in their hearts like their hearts don't lie.

I try to keep these lines in my mind as I find myself being swayed by irrational thoughts. Like the thought that grand romantic endeavors are always good. Like your old love showing up at your door with flowers and a speech about how he never should have let you go. A romantic idea but then what happens afterwards? What happens next week when you realize that the things that drove the two of you apart are still there? And then you have to ask yourself if you want this because you have dreamed about it every night for the past 6 months or because it's really the right thing for you. My brother and his girlfriend broke up and then they had a grand reunion. He asked me before it happened, when he was planning his course of action, 'what happens after the fairy tale?' I told him that you live with it. Don't let your fairy tale be something you can't live with.

sometimes our hearts lie, and that's hard to remember.

1 comment:

Andy Fannin said...

I used to believe in the mythical idea of true love. I used to be truly head over heels in love, and that's why I say that. The only thing I have ever learned from deep, uncontrollable love is pain. When you give yourself to someone that completely you are more vulnerable than any person should be. I tried that path a few times in my life, and it always ended in disaster.
The down side is, if you are truly a romantic at heart searching for true love. You will never be completely happy with anything less. I traveled the road of simply settling for what is available, and it never made me happy. It only left me with empty screams from an unhappy soul. In essence true love is a catch22. You are screwed no matter what you do. For those of you who do find true love, and live the fairy tale, Congrats. For the rest of the real world I feel your pain!!!!