A Tired Game

it's such a tired game
will it ever stop?
how will this all play out
out of sight out of mind
By now we should know how to communicate
Instead of coming to blows, we're on a roll...
It's such a crying, crying, crying shame"

I know these lyrics by Jack Johnson are about war but they came to my mind today as I was talking to a friend about her recent break-up. My friend and I had met our respective boyfriends a week apart from each other and had really grown together as a foursome. When my boyfriend and I broke early this year they both talked to me about it and helped to show me that there was good in my ex. Now I am doing the same. It's hard when you're dealing with broken hearts because the gut reaction is to make the other to be pure evil. So as a friend to both of them I find myself in the sticky situation of showing my friend that her ex isn't that terrible of a person, just someone who made mistakes.
It makes me wonder about love and relationships at all. I have stated that I don't want to find Mr. Right yet because I'm not ready to settle down. But if that's what I really want then I am basically asking for another break-up. Another ritual mud-slinging contest to see who was the worse partner. And honestly I don't understand why it has to be this way. I fight myself constantly to not take my exe's words in the wrong context since we have now become friends. There are times when I still want to say that he is a crappy, no-good jerk but I refrain because I know these feelings are coming from a place of anger and pain that I thought was gone. A place in my heart that will grow smaller as time passes. As my friend will one day look back at her ex and see him as another person that she shared her life with for a while, a person that through his faults gave her more happiness than pain.